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Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc R.
Subject: Microsoft Verses Detroit
Greetings,
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love
this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you
could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only
five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation”
warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old car.
10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their
computer! Regards, Joe Bryant.
Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: Marc R.
Subject: Ode To Dogs
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If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it
at
any hour, for as long and wherever you
want . doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as
you watch romantic movies never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire
existence is solely to ensure his
happiness
then marry a man.
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Recipient: Cary Jeffries
Sender: W. Blackburn
Subject: Red Marbles
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